Myth #10:  Time Heals All Wounds

^“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side,
but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;
persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”

2 Corinthians 4:7-9

Every one of us will go through some kind of loss in our life.  Anything from being let go from a job, a broken relationship, to losing someone you love to death. It is a storm that tosses you about inside and leaves you feeling unsteady and confused. You try to makes sense of it and carry on, but time is NOT the friendly healer you hoped it would be.  What do you do with that grief?

A friend of mine lost her husband a short time ago.  She recently sent me these excerpts from a book that she has been reading called, When Your Family’s Lost a Loved One: Finding Hope Together.

“There comes a time in our grief that we realize we have to figure out how to keep on living, how to incorporate the loss into our lives. We want to feel normal again, to feel joy again. It is a cruel choice to have to make. It feels completely unfair, but unavoidable. We can either hold on to the pain, accepting its regular doses of misery because it keeps us connected to the loved one we’ve lost–or we can choose to release it, process it, talk about it, cry about it, let it wash over us, and then let it wash away our tears.

We can make the painful choice to let it go–not all at once, but a little every day. We find that we can decide whether or not to let ourselves sink to that place where the flashes of memories and reminder of loss threaten our contentment and composure.

We can begin to make that hard choice. We can begin to let go of our grief so we can grab hold of life and those who are living.

It is choosing to live fully for God, recognizing that there is no real life apart from Him and that anything less is merely existing. It’s trusting God completely with your future and your family’s future, knowing there may be even more loss ahead.

When we lose someone we love, we’re faced with a cruel choice: give in to the weight of sorrow so that we get stuck and never move forward, or summon our energy and courage each morning to keep going and looking for brighter days.

It’s the very thing that Paul experienced when he dealt with his pain and loss.  The power that Jesus gives is beyond anything else this world can offer.  The question always is… will you turn to Him with your brokenness and allow Him to bring the healing He longs to give you?

Blessings,
Pastor John

Today as I walked around downtown Rochester, MN, I silently prayed…”God, what do you want most for the people who I meet and will walk alongside in my time here on earth?” I listened and watched.  Most people I saw were focused on getting where they needed to be this morning.  A few were engaged in conversation with another that was nearby, some laughed, but most were alone in their thoughts.  Ironically, two questions jumped to my mind that I longed to ask each person that passed by…

1) Do you know how wonderful and important you are?

2)  Do you know there is someone who loves you more than anyone on this                            earth can?

I think that’s why I am so moved by the example of a woman who lived an extraordinary life of helping others no matter what the cost to herself.  Here name was Irena Sendler.

During WWII, Irena, got permission to work in the Warsaw Ghetto, as a Plumbing/Sewer specialist. She had an ‘ulterior motive’ … She KNEW what the Nazi’s plans were for the Jews, (she was  German.)

Irena decided to smuggle infants out in the bottom of the toolbox she carried. In the back of her truck she had variety a burlap sacks for larger kids. She also had a dog in the back that she trained to bark when the Nazi soldiers let her in and out of the ghetto. The soldiers, of course, wanted nothing to do with the dog and the barking covered the kids/infants noises.

Over the course of a few years, she managed to smuggle out and save 2500 kids/infants. She eventually was caught and the Nazi’s broke both her legs, arms and beat her severely. Irena kept a record of the names of all the kids she smuggled out and hid them in a glass jar, buried under a tree in her back yard. After the war, she made every effort to locate any parents that may have survived and reunite the children with their families.
For the vast majority, there was no family left. She helped these parentless children to by getting them into foster care families or being adopted by those who cared.

In 2007, Irena was up for the Nobel Peace Prize.  She was not selected.  But what she did for everyone of those children gave them hope.  In May 2008, she passed away.

You many never find yourself in a situation quite like Irena, but you can always ask…  Where will you make a difference and bring hope to others today?

Serving  faithfully,

Pastor John

Are Christians NEVER Suppose to Judge?

Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”  Matthew 7:1-2

I have seen some of the harshest statements of judgment made by the very people who are called to be the most compassionate.  In my third year of college I was working with a teenager who was struggling with an addiction.  We went together to talk to a local minister who in a matter of minutes proceeded crush the spirit of this teen by letting him know that unless he stopped, he stood condemned because God had already rejected him.   I was shocked.  How could he judge this person so harshly?  It lead me to ask, How do I live out my belief and convictions in a way that helps to bring life-changing hope to people instead of condemning judgment?

How did Jesus “judge”, confronting the behaviors of those around him?

Let me take the example of the woman caught in adultery (Jn 8:1-11).  What she was doing went against both God’s and the community standards. The religious leaders came forward with the consequences for this woman.  Here is the judgment:  she must die by stoning her.  They turned to Jesus, hoping they would trap him in a no win situation. If he said she didn’t do anything wrong, then he would not be a person who had the standards to act justly. If he condemned her, then the crowd would see him as merciless.  What did he do? First of all – he agreed with them.  There were God given moral standards that he lived by.  This was one of them.  She did deserve the punishment, but he took gave us an example of how we judge without condemning.  1) He reminded us that we all fail… “he who is without sin, cast the first stone”.  2) He extended grace and forgiveness… “neither do I condemn you”

3) He showed her the better way… “Go now and leave your life of sin”

He didn’t say, “I’m personally uncomfortable with it, but if it works for you, then that’s okay.”  He called it what it was, SIN!  BUT he confronted with the outpouring of compassion towards himself, the one who offered hope and grace, NOT  condemnation!  John 3:17, “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.”

This is where so many Christians get it wrong.  The best course of action is to NOT stop assessing out immoral, hurtful behavior – judging what is right and wrong according to God’s standards, but to do it with the compassion of Jesus.

Let me give you three keys to make this a reality based on what Jesus did in Matthew 7:1-6.

“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

KEY #1: The same standard you use to judge others will be the same one God will use for you.

“And why do you look at the speck in your brothers eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, Let me remove the speck out of your eye; and look, a plank is in your own eye? Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck out of your brothers eye.”
KEY#2: Deal with your own sin first before tackling someone else’s.

⁶“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces.

KEY #3: Don’t give out your insights to those who aren’t ready to hear.

Proverbs 9:8 “Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you;
rebuke a wise man and he will love you.”

Ironically the NT is pretty silent when it comes to harsh judgments and condemnation of the Roman Government and it’s leaders.  While it does speak of societal decadence in general, it usually does so in the context of reminding those who were followers of Jesus that they were to no longer live that way.  The reason was simple.  The early church understood their job was not to condemn those around them.  Their role was to compassionately confront by showing others a better way… the best way.

Have you read the story about this great leader, King David who made a massive mistake that he was going to pay for the rest of his life. He looked out from his balcony, saw a beautiful married woman, Bathsheba…  he took her into his palace… had a one night fling… tried to cover it up… had her husband killed… once she was done grieving… he brought her home to be his wife and she gave birth to a little baby boy.   The guilt and grief that overcame him hits pretty close to home for many of us.  It may sound like a present day soap opera episode, but this situation happens to be true.

You can find it all in the Bible by reading 2 Samuel 11-12.

When you read it, you can’t help but ask,  “how could a great guy like this could make such a blundering choice that caused his household to live under the pain of it the rest of his life?”

It’s ironic that the automotive technicians have such a unique name for the dashboard warning symbols in our cars today.  They call them, “idiot lights.”    

These lights indicate that something is wrong somewhere in your car.  Anywhere from, “your seatbelt is is unbuckled” to “check the engine”.  The average person cannot assess out what is really wrong, but there is a nagging sense with that light on, that impending doom is just around the corner.  You don’t know anything, until that light comes on.  But when it does… you better do something about it right away!

That’s kind of how guilt works.

Guilt has a greater purpose than just to make you feel bad. Guilt is like an “idiot light” on the dashboard of your life.  Just like the warning lights in your car, guilt tells us that something is wrong in your life. Something is not working according to the manufacturer’s specs.  Left unchecked, you WILL be in more trouble than you are right now.

Q:  Have you made some really bad choices in your life that now have signaled the “idiot light” of guilt to come on?  Don’t try to hide it away.  David did and here’s what he said about it his writing of Psalm 38:4-5,

“My guilt has overwhelmed me like a burden too heavy to bear.

My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly.”

Let that GUILT move you to GRIEF.  You need to experience the reality of the wrong you’ve done.  Let it pervade that best part of you that is human.  Someone else may be paying for your mistakes.  Your guilt light is flashing… the grief is raw… now where do you go with it?

The only long term solution that really works is for another to offer you GRACE.  This is the unmerited gift of forgiveness that moves towards restoration.  This is what God most wants us to embrace.   Like David we ask, “Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions; according to your steadfast love remember me, for the sake of your goodness, O LORD!” (Psalm 25:7).  Landing on His grace is the only way to relieve the guilt, heal the grief, and bring you back to real life.

Pastor John

Pastor John DuBall… NewDay Church @ the Y

A question I was asked early on in my ministry was: “Why do some really good people often get tripped & fail in some really big ways?”

Most of us have heard about those leaders who are doing good things for others make some real stupid moral choices that almost totally cancel out all the good they have done.

Here are four warning signs that you should be aware of to keep you from becoming one of those who find themselves in a trap you never intended to get caught in.

4 Warning Signs You Are About To Fall

1. Any time I think I’m stronger than the temptations I will face.

1 Corinthians 10:12 So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall!

I found what Gordon McDonald said about his moral failure many years ago to be very helpful.

“I’ve spent more than a little time trying to understand how and why some men/women in all kinds of leadership get themselves into trouble whether the issues be moral, financial, or the abuse of power and ego. From those terrible moments of twenty years ago in my own life I have come to believe that there is a deeper person in many of us who is not unlike an assassin.
This deeper person can be the source of attitudes and behaviors we normally stand against in our conscious being. But it seeks to destroy us and masses energies that – unrestrained – tempt us to do the very things we “believe against.” If you have been burned as deeply as I (and my loved ones) have, you never live a day without remembering that there is something within that, left unguarded, will go on the rampage.” Gordon McDonald, 11/5/2006  Christianity Today, “Out of Ur”

2. When you tell yourself, “No one will ever know”.

Don’t believe the major marketing campaign of Las Vegas, “What Happens Here, Stays Here”.  Remember this: “Do not be deceived; God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows”.
3.  When you are experiencing great success and you change the rules.

We often began to feel God must be pleased with me and my success demonstrates my
superiority.  You start to say, “I have certain rights & privileges other people don’t”.  Whenever you let success dictate a new set of rules, you are in danger

4. When you go through extreme hardship & failure and you change the rules.

Here is what you start telling yourself, “My situation is very different, so the normal rules don’t apply here to me.” The justifying & rationalizing of your situation can bring you down.

So… what are the warning signs tell you today? Watch and heed the “Do Not Enter”, the “Caution”, and the “Dead End” signs along way in order to keep yourself from ending up in a place it’s difficult to get back from.