I’ve been struggling with the painful reality that most people, in some way or another, tend to sabotage themselves.  We might mentally acknowledge that something is not good for us, but we end up choosing that “thing” anyway.  I recognize that I am most vulnerable to doing this when I don’t like the way I “feel” inside.  The inner longing creates a void that I want filled.  This leads me to begin to look for a way to effectively meet that need.  Ironically, it’s at this point that I am most likely to sabotage myself by choosing a solution that will do me more harm than good in the long run.

This last week I listened to people explain to me how their wrong choices created the problems they are having right now.  It grieves me deeply to the debris of shattered marriages, careers, and friendships washed up on the shore of another person’s life. In looking back over my own life, there was one time I really messed up a friendship.  I can picture the moment clearly in my mind where I deliberately lied to a good friend and he found out.  On top of that, when he confronted me about it… I lied again.  He was devastated. In a few short weeks, I lost that friendship.  I got to tell you, if I could go back and change those choices, I would in a heartbeat.

I know I needed to change. I found some great insight from the Apostle Paul in his writings to other followers of Jesus in Philippi… “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things….And the God of peace will be with you.” I began to move from sabotaging myself in choosing quick fixes to thinking about what is the BEST choice.  I encourage you to begin the mental discipline of displacing those thoughts that will lead you down a road to pain, to one that brings healing and hope.

Pastor John

It had been a hard day for my youngest daughter.  Navigating the emotional roller coaster of adolescent friendships is difficult.  During our conversation she remembered a verse a speaker quoted from the Bible that said we, as humans, “are fearfully and wonderfully made”. She understood what “wonderfully made” means, but she was uncertain about the “fearful” part.  “What does it mean?” she asked.  I probed my memory for the meaning and started to give the theological background on the etymology of the word.

I looked at her face and stopped. A background lesson on the premise of the concept is not what she needed right now.  Smiling (and praying for wisdom), I began to describe what I saw in her.  So…Amanda, and for all those who question their worth and value, let me remind you of this…

You were designed as one of God’s most precious creations.

You are his “masterpiece”. His handprint of compassionate design flows

out of you to color our world in a way only you can.  You are valued by Him, sought by Him, created to bring joy, hope, faith, and love to others.

You are beautiful… even when you can’t see it.  Thank you for being you.

The hug I received was all the thanks I needed.

Pastor John

This last Saturday afternoon, I stood on the steps of the Rochester YMCA conversing with a young man about our pasts.  One of the people that had the most influence in his life was his grandmother.  He admired her inner strength and sense of compassion for others.  But it wasn’t until the last few months of her life that he “really” got to know her.  Though her body was deteriorating, her spirit was alive with memories.  One of those memories of when she was a little girl working in the South.  She would be picking cotton all sunup to sundown just meet the master’s quota.  She recalled that at the end of the day if it was cold, some of the smaller children would be called into the master’s home to sleep curled up at the end of his bed in order to keep the master’s feet warm.  Being a slave meant you did what your master asked of you.  I could see on his face and hear in his voice the mixture of admiration and sadness for what his grandmother had endured.   This amazing relationship impacted and shaped him.

Taking the time to listen and really get to know a person is one of the greatest blessings we give each other.  I hear people often say, “I don’t feel connected”.  I’m not as surprised by that anymore because most people don’t realize what it truly takes to “feel connected”.  It’s the most valuable commodity we have today and it’s limited.  You only have 24 hours of the stuff each day.  Using it up with what “needs” to be done, with important deadlines, with activities and events consumes our minds ability to relate with those around us.  There is simply not enough time to “feel connected” in a world like ours if you don’t stop and listen and enter into the lives of those around you.  It’s what makes us truly human.  We are children and servants of Jesus, our master, who came and washed the feet of his followers as an example of how we are to live.  “Feeling connected” will only come when you take the time to make it happen.

Pastor John DuBall